Mothering {not just being a mom}

"The love of a true mother comes nearer to being like the love of God than any other kind of love."

- Joseph F. Smith

Is it too cliche to post something about mothers this weekend?  I hope not.  I am a believer that motherhood is serious stuff.  I owe pretty much all I am to my dear mother.  Her unselfishness, service, sacrifice, support, and love cannot be overstated. She is still one of the first people I call to cry to and laugh with.

And becoming a mother has changed, sometimes rocked, my world.  It has been so incredibly hard for me.  I don't think I've ever been the girl who yearned to take care of little babies and sacrifice all I am for another human being.  I have found that I am actually pretty selfish.  There have been soooo many days I've cried, screamed, put myself in timeout, and just flat out dreaded getting out of bed in the morning.

But then there have been these other beautiful moments of discovery and growth that I know I never could have had without this little person.  I find myself watching my son's eyes and facial expressions whenever he experiences something new.  I'd rather watch him than whatever it is he's so intrigued with.  Becoming a mother has made me a better person.

And then, I have dear friends who want to be mothers and aren't.  At times I envy their freedom.  Mostly my heart hurts with them.  There is something about becoming a mother that is so raw and difficult and consuming and rewarding...like nothing else I have ever experienced.  I want them to know it too.

A few years ago I was asked to speak in church on mothers day or about mothers or something.  I read this section out of the book Expecting Adam:

"The word mother is more powerful when it is used as verb than as a noun.  Mothering has little to do with biological reproduction - as another friend once told me, there are women who bear and raise children without ever mothering them, and there are people...who mother all their lives without ever giving birth... While mothers are often in short supply, mothering is not.  Against all odds, despite everything that works against it on this unpleasant, uncomfortable planet, mothering is here in abundance."

I know there is no way that can take the sting out of this weekend for anyone who longs to be a mother, but isn't it beautiful?  And true?

I watched this video yesterday and then I cried and cried.  I cried for the realization of how much my mother has given to me.  And I cried because I know I would do anything to be a good mother to my own child.  And then I cried some more because I should be about 20 weeks pregnant right now.  You have to watch it.

"One form of heroism - the most common, and yet sometimes the least remembered, is the heroism of the average mother.  Ah!  When I think of that broad fact, I gather hope again for humanity; this dark world looks bright - this world looks wholesome to me once more - because whatever else it is lacking, it is at least full of mothers.  Mother is the title of woman's supreme dignity."

- Kingsley