I got a little crazy a few weeks ago and checked out 4 or 5 books from the library. And read them all in about a week. I obviously needed a good distraction. One of those books (I am aware this is going to sound ridiculous) was a book about raising an only child. I figured if I was going to get my emotions under control and come to terms with my life, I might as well find out as much as I can about only children. The book totally depressed me...no offense to any only child who might read this one day. But that's beside the point, really. I found this in the book:
"When does the yearning for more stop? It never stops. It doesn't stop with a husband. It doesn't stop with a better job. It doesn't stop with more money. It doesn't stop with a second child. This is life."
- a mom named Diana
I guess I liked it because I can relate to it. I remember thinking my problems would probably be solved when I found the man of my dreams. Then I thought owning a house and having a yard would cure me of my yearnings. Then I wanted grass in my dang yard. Then I wanted a kid. You get the idea here. We all do it, right?
I'm not sure the yearning needs to necessarily stop, because it's great to have dreams and look forward to the future. But I for one need to stop obsessing about how great my life will be when I finally have everything I want. I can be happy now. I can look at what I have and enjoy it.
A while back when I was feeling sorry for myself, I decided to make a list of the things I have in my life that make me feel rich and fulfilled. Here are a few:
Good books
Good music
Being outside
The sound of my son's laughter
Healthy, yummy food
Simple luxuries (microwaves, flushing toilets, my fridge, etc)
Family
True friends
Learning something new
NPR and PBS (I'm a nerd for this stuff)
Photo albums
Exercise
Growing my own food (and learning to preserve it)
Creating something
Naptime. Oh glorious naptime.
I put this list right next to my bed where I'm sure to see it every day. That way I can re-read it and feel so blessed and rich and full. I want to focus on what's good about now. My life will never be exactly like this ever again.
I love this! Maybe you're right...It's time to stop wanting more and be grateful for what we have. But that is something we must work on, in itself.
ReplyDeleteAnd Naps! I love naps so much!
you amaze me. i want to be more like you.
ReplyDeleteWhat you haven't thought through is that perhaps the yearning would have stopped if you actually had married the man of your dreams. Instead you married a short (well, average height) guy, from your home town, and that is imperfect. ;) But that is the point right? Our dreams are molded by our experiences. They shift and change as our perspective does...and good thing too. Otherwise our dreams would be either un-achievable leaving us disillusioned or all achieved leaving us without hope for a better future. It is the ever-changing dreams that keep us moving and that make life exciting and it the achieving of the dreams that makes life satisfying. (Like marrying the most incredible woman ever!) We just need to remember to keep a balance between striving for the next dream and recognizing the dreams achieved.
ReplyDeleteLove you tons!