All the money in the world

I just finished a great book by Laura Vanderkam called All the Money in the World:  What the Happiest People Know About Getting and Spending.  Near the end of the book, she asks this question:

"If one CAN purchase many of the good or experiences that consumer culture dictates one should want, how does one continue to find pleasure in little things?" and then on a related note, "We want things we cannot have, and once we can have them we no longer want them."

It made me think of things I have longed for and coveted and finally purchased for myself.  I've often felt let down.  I've enjoyed the new thing for a week or two and then it has just become part of the life I expect.  I forget how much I wanted and loved it.  It was almost better when I was wishing and hoping for it...imagining how much more awesome my life was going to be once I owned it.

I've started shopping differently and even noticing other people's stuff differently.  I can see something I love and NOT buy it.  I can appreciate and admire it, then walk away.  I don't have to own something to gain pleasure from it.  I look at it almost like I'm walking through an art gallery.  My husband and I have attended gallery strolls downtown in the past.  We meander through a few galleries full of art we have no intention of purchasing, and then go home feeling enriched somehow, even without forking out any money.

I've been following a blog by Courtney Carver http://bemorewithless.com/ and she recently posted a simple sentiment that expresses my feelings exactly.

Back to the book, Sonja Lyubomirsky is quoted saying, "When something is sitting on your shelf, you get used to it very fast.  It doesn't give you the same thrill anymore."  Vanderkam encourages buying experiences rather than things because we all get used to a couch or table or shirt pretty quickly, but planning for, anticipating, experiencing, and then re-living a vacation brings much more joy...and longer lasting joy.

What I loved most about this book is that the author isn't saying we should stop spending our money or give it all away or live as hermits in the desert.  She talks about making better decisions regarding the money we DO have.  Whether you are a millionaire or living in the lower middle class, you have the ability to assess what brings you the most joy and happiness and then cut out all the excess crap society says you MUST own to be happy or "normal".  "Conspicuous consumption is human nature," she says.  But we don't have to do it.

"I don't want to be the Jonses.  There's no point trying to keep up when you're thrilled with what you've got."

It's a good one.  You should read it.